Trying to be Good.

C.S. Lewis wrote:

"You may remember I said that the first step towards humility was to realize that one is proud. I want to add now that the next step is to make some serious attempt to practice the Christian virtues. A week is not enough. Things often go swimmingly for the first week. Try six weeks.

By that time, having, as far as one can see, fallen back completely or even fallen lower than the point one began from, one will have discovered some truths about oneself. No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.

The main thing we learn from a serious attempt to practice the Christian virtues is that we fail. - All this is leading up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, "You must do this. I can't."

I do remember going through this as a new Christian. I didn't realize, until I fell hard, how bad I was - how I was capable of great sins. I did reach the point of despairing and said, "Lord, if you want me to be a good person, you will have to do it." Then I quit looking at myself - which took some practice. I still pray to be a good and loving person but I also quit worrying about it and leave it to God to do it for me. Jesus said, "Don't worry about anything," and I believe that means my sins and character too.