A Perfect House - A Perfect Person.

My husband and I live in our daughter's house. We moved in to help look after her children while she was at work. I also home-schooled her youngest daughter. The children are teenagers now and my daughter is selling her house.

We have had to keep the house looking perfect for the realtors and any potential buyers. As I was working today, trying to make my apartment look pristine, I thought how hard it was to keep every room looking perfect every day.

That reminded me of how I tried to keep myself perfect when I was a young Christian. I was 19 and so happy to have accepted Christ, but then I began to work on myself to not sin. It was a difficult - well, impossible task. No matter how hard I tried I still made mistakes and did wrong.

I finally realized that I was looking at myself all the time. In the same way I was looking at the rooms of my house for some imperfection, I was looking at my sins and concentrating on them instead of Jesus. I was feeling guilty and condemned, when those feelings were not helpful and not the way God wanted me to feel. Conviction of sin is good but feeling condemned is not.

Now, when I sin I confess it to God, say I am sorry, ask for His help and then forget it. If I have hurt anyone's feelings I say I'm sorry to them too. It is freeing to look away from myself and upward to God.

Trying to be Good.

C.S. Lewis wrote:

"You may remember I said that the first step towards humility was to realize that one is proud. I want to add now that the next step is to make some serious attempt to practice the Christian virtues. A week is not enough. Things often go swimmingly for the first week. Try six weeks.

By that time, having, as far as one can see, fallen back completely or even fallen lower than the point one began from, one will have discovered some truths about oneself. No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.

The main thing we learn from a serious attempt to practice the Christian virtues is that we fail. - All this is leading up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, "You must do this. I can't."

I do remember going through this as a new Christian. I didn't realize, until I fell hard, how bad I was - how I was capable of great sins. I did reach the point of despairing and said, "Lord, if you want me to be a good person, you will have to do it." Then I quit looking at myself - which took some practice. I still pray to be a good and loving person but I also quit worrying about it and leave it to God to do it for me. Jesus said, "Don't worry about anything," and I believe that means my sins and character too.