My husband and I live in our daughter's house. We moved in to help look after her children while she was at work. I also home-schooled her youngest daughter. The children are teenagers now and my daughter is selling her house.
We have had to keep the house looking perfect for the realtors and any potential buyers. As I was working today, trying to make my apartment look pristine, I thought how hard it was to keep every room looking perfect every day.
That reminded me of how I tried to keep myself perfect when I was a young Christian. I was 19 and so happy to have accepted Christ, but then I began to work on myself to not sin. It was a difficult - well, impossible task. No matter how hard I tried I still made mistakes and did wrong.
I finally realized that I was looking at myself all the time. In the same way I was looking at the rooms of my house for some imperfection, I was looking at my sins and concentrating on them instead of Jesus. I was feeling guilty and condemned, when those feelings were not helpful and not the way God wanted me to feel. Conviction of sin is good but feeling condemned is not.
Now, when I sin I confess it to God, say I am sorry, ask for His help and then forget it. If I have hurt anyone's feelings I say I'm sorry to them too. It is freeing to look away from myself and upward to God.
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