I Would Never Do That

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged." Matt: 7:1,2

When I was a new Christian in my twenties and I would hear about something bad that someone had done I would think, "I would never do that!" I was like Peter who said to Jesus, " Even though all may fall away, yet I will not," right before he ran away and left Jesus when he was arrested.

Peter didn't know himself and neither did I. When I found out my first husband was sleeping with the girl who lived downstairs I saw something of what was inside me. I had told him to go tell her he would never see her again or I would leave. I could hear them downstairs start to laugh. I pictured myself getting the biggest knife I had in the kitchen and just ripping into both of them. I then realized I was capable of murder.

Later, after we had separated and my husband had a new girlfriend he would take the kids for the weekend and his girlfriend would stay too. I was horrified and thought once again, "I would never do that to my children." Two years later my new boyfriend was sleeping over and God reminded me of what I had said.

At the time I felt ashamed but I realized later it was a good lesson for me to learn. We really don't know what we might do until we come into a situation that impels us to make a decision. I don't think I have trusted myself again.

I remember being in a church once and everyone was singing, "I will not be shaken," all the while sitting there thinking, "On the other hand, who knows what I will do?" I am trying to learn not to judge people simply by the fact that if I were in their shoes I might be doing the exact same thing.