Psalm 39 - Lord, I Want to Die.

Psalm 39 - What it means to me.

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end

and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting my life is.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Verses 4,5

I always thought this verse meant we should remember how short our life is here and concentrate on eternal things. According to Bible scholars though, this is not what it means. They say David is longing for death to put an end to his misery. Well, I have felt that way myself many times.

Pulpit Commentary

The psalmist is weary of life, expects nothing from it, feels that it is "altogether vanity." He asks, therefore, not exactly for death, but that it may be told him how long he will have to endure the wretched life that he is leading. He anticipates no relief except in death, and feels, at any rate for the time, that he would welcome death as a deliverer. 

David often starts his Psalms off being angry or despairing but he almost always ends with hoping in God.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in you.  Verse 7

I live the same way. I get angry, depressed and despairing; I feel life is too painful for me to bear. And it is too painful without God. But after awhile, I go to God for help and there I find strength and hope. 

Psalm 30 - You Saved Me.

Psalm 30 - What it means to me.

O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me.

You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead; 

you spared me from going down to the pit. Verse 3.

When I was a teenager, I was in deep despair. I felt alone, empty and lost. Because of these feelings, I was always in trouble for drinking, doing drugs and sleeping around. Many times I wanted to kill myself, but God held me back. I drove up to the top of a cliff one day and sat there trying to decide whether to drive off but I didn't.

I felt dead inside, as the Psalmist says. Nothing seemed to matter - no one loved me, not even my own family.

I didn't know God was there and that when I was 19 I would give my life to him. I didn't know he would give me my own family to love and be loved by. I didn't know he would spare me from going down to the pit. 

Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, And give thanks to His holy name. Verse 4.

This is an excerpt from the book, Jesus Did it Anyway, by Kent M. Keith.

"We know there is beauty and goodness in the world, but sometimes it is hard to see. Instead, we see only conflict and suffering. Every day, the newspapers report the beatings, the killings, the sickness and starvation, the inhumanity of human beings toward each other...Does anybody understand what we are going through?"

"Jesus suffered. He experienced cruelty and pain and hate. But he did more than that; he showed us how to triumph over the cruelty and pain and hate. He showed us that even in a world in which evil is strong, we can be who we are meant to be, and do what we are meant to do. He showed us how to rise above our fear and despair. He showed us how to live our faith and find meaning and deep happiness."

As I think about the suffering in Japan right now, and the suffering all over the world, I need God to help me rise above my fear and despair. There was the same kind of suffering in Jesus time. There has been suffering from the beginning of sin in heaven. How God and Jesus must have suffered when they lost their child Lucifer! How them must suffer still as they see all he has caused.

Yet Jesus never despaired or was fearful when he was here as a man. Although, perhaps in the Garden of Gethsemane he came close to that. But as God does for us, he did for Jesus, in sending an angel to strengthen him. I wonder how I would react if I were in the midst of a terrible earthquake and lost everything. Would I trust in God? Would I have peace and patience? Or would I be angry and depressed? Having never gone through such a thing, I don't know.

I pray for the people of Japan and all the countries where there is great suffering. May God help them. May God help us all.