Self-Consciousness.

I was reading Everyday Grace, by Anabel Gillham. She was writing about how we think about ourselves too much. I know that is true for me, it is true for all human beings. I thought what she wrote was interesting:

"Now I need to remember that self-consciousness isn’t always thinking I’m a winner and that I am thankful that I have “me” in my life! Other people make so many mistakes. They just need to be more like me! No. It is also thinking very little of me and wishing I were out of the picture. It is thoughts about “self”—self-pity, self-loathing, self-aggrandizement, self-reliance, false humility, pride, or any of those disgusting, self-centered things. It can be self-exaltation or self-degradation. Self-consciousness is simply setting my mind on me and mine, negatively or positively.

So do I hear him saying that if I center in on myself that my relationship with the Lord can be damaged and that I’ll experience wrestling? What is that? Well, one definition would be grabbing things out of His hands and taking over the circumstances in my life myself—”I can do it! Anabel can handle this! I know exactly what needs to be done! I don’t need to seek His thoughts on this issue.” It is the absence of God’s rest, of contentment, of peace. It is feeling uneasy, worry, fear, constantly evaluating my circumstances, the people in my world, rejection, resentment, pride, hurt feelings, ad infinitum. These things come about through self-consciousness and when they do, my walk with the Lord suffers. I have certainly and painfully found this to be true."

She goes on to tell us how to stop thinking about ourselves all the time. She says exactly what Joyce Meyer says. Choose our thoughts. Don't let them control us. Talk to Jesus about everything and then leave it with him and forget it for the rest of the day. This works for me - thinking on purpose, Joyce calls it. It has changed my life for the better.